Nothing strikes fear into the heart of some families more than the idea of having a strange nanny living in your home! A large number of people don’t even consider the live-in nanny option, but maybe they should, and the following are reasons why:
1. But they live with you – in your home! Think about it, you can run to the store without the kids for a last minute dinner ingredient. If you have a medical emergency and you have to run to the hospital you can leave the kids home. If you have a spouse that travels for work, you still have someone else to help with the kids. Flexibility is the hallmark of a live-in nanny.
2. A live-in nanny is way out of our budget. Providing the nanny with room and board makes their hourly pay less expensive. If you have an extra room, it won’t cost you any extra to let the nanny live there. For them, however, it provides them with a lot of their living expenses, and that cost is absorbed and the nanny is given a smaller weekly pay which makes this type of care more affordable than a nanny who comes and goes or, at times, a daycare - especially when there are multiple children in the home, daycare costs double, triple and so on. Nannies will charge more as well. In the case of an au pair, the cost does not rise with the addition of children.
3. We won’t have any privacy! Privacy is the number one fear of anyone looking into providing room and board for a nanny. What about when you want one on one time with your spouse or some family time without the nanny? What about having to share a bathroom with a stranger? What about feeling uncomfortable when you raise your voice at the kids? The nanny is listening to everything! An in-depth study on privacy and au pairs showed that 100 percent of parents hosting an au pair went into the arrangement worrying about their privacy being invaded and 100 percent of those surveyed said their privacy concerns became a nonissue. Their au pairs were generally aware of the best times to excuse themselves from the room. The au pairs also had their time they wanted to be alone or with friends. Finally, after a few days really the nanny feels more like an older sister and the family moves back into the “being more relaxed at home” mode.
4. What if I don’t like the nanny? When you live with a person you either grow to love them or grow to distrust said individual. The reality is, however, the family interviews someone they feel like they could connect with and befriend on a deeper level. Generally the matching process, when done correctly, means family members welcome someone they have already vetted into their homes and will eventually love as one of their own.
5. What if the kids like the nanny better than us? This one is a big one. Parents worry their child is going to see the nanny as the parental figure instead of the parents as mom or dad. Conversations with Host Families have helped me to understand this is not the case. There does not need to be any competition at all. The au pair is a piece of the parenting team but never replaces the parent. Children know their mother and father and there is no way around it.
6. Shouldn’t a live-in nanny be busy with school? Sometimes parents may make assumptions about the nanny – like if they are so young why aren’t they pursuing a higher-paying career. In the case of au pairs, coming to the United States and learning a new language and taking college credit on the side while nannying often provides them more career opportunities when they return to their home. They leave their home to travel thousands of miles and live in a new culture and home. If you ask me that is pretty brave and ambitious. Host Families and local area representatives I know say that parting is not a not a trend among au pairs.
7. A daycare is so much more convenient. What about weekend and evening availability or child care for parents with night shifts? This one is big, especially for dual working parents or single parents. Once work is over generally a nanny will go home or parents will pick up their children from daycare. Then they go home to fix dinner, clean the house, and do the kids homework and then get them to bed. There really is no “me” time for these parents. Except when they have a nanny who is living with them, who has fixed dinner for the kids and already helped the kids do their homework and they do the kids laundry. You can imagine what that means for the parents allowing more quality time with their children and more relaxation for themselves.
2. A live-in nanny is way out of our budget. Providing the nanny with room and board makes their hourly pay less expensive. If you have an extra room, it won’t cost you any extra to let the nanny live there. For them, however, it provides them with a lot of their living expenses, and that cost is absorbed and the nanny is given a smaller weekly pay which makes this type of care more affordable than a nanny who comes and goes or, at times, a daycare - especially when there are multiple children in the home, daycare costs double, triple and so on. Nannies will charge more as well. In the case of an au pair, the cost does not rise with the addition of children.
3. We won’t have any privacy! Privacy is the number one fear of anyone looking into providing room and board for a nanny. What about when you want one on one time with your spouse or some family time without the nanny? What about having to share a bathroom with a stranger? What about feeling uncomfortable when you raise your voice at the kids? The nanny is listening to everything! An in-depth study on privacy and au pairs showed that 100 percent of parents hosting an au pair went into the arrangement worrying about their privacy being invaded and 100 percent of those surveyed said their privacy concerns became a nonissue. Their au pairs were generally aware of the best times to excuse themselves from the room. The au pairs also had their time they wanted to be alone or with friends. Finally, after a few days really the nanny feels more like an older sister and the family moves back into the “being more relaxed at home” mode.
4. What if I don’t like the nanny? When you live with a person you either grow to love them or grow to distrust said individual. The reality is, however, the family interviews someone they feel like they could connect with and befriend on a deeper level. Generally the matching process, when done correctly, means family members welcome someone they have already vetted into their homes and will eventually love as one of their own.
5. What if the kids like the nanny better than us? This one is a big one. Parents worry their child is going to see the nanny as the parental figure instead of the parents as mom or dad. Conversations with Host Families have helped me to understand this is not the case. There does not need to be any competition at all. The au pair is a piece of the parenting team but never replaces the parent. Children know their mother and father and there is no way around it.
6. Shouldn’t a live-in nanny be busy with school? Sometimes parents may make assumptions about the nanny – like if they are so young why aren’t they pursuing a higher-paying career. In the case of au pairs, coming to the United States and learning a new language and taking college credit on the side while nannying often provides them more career opportunities when they return to their home. They leave their home to travel thousands of miles and live in a new culture and home. If you ask me that is pretty brave and ambitious. Host Families and local area representatives I know say that parting is not a not a trend among au pairs.
7. A daycare is so much more convenient. What about weekend and evening availability or child care for parents with night shifts? This one is big, especially for dual working parents or single parents. Once work is over generally a nanny will go home or parents will pick up their children from daycare. Then they go home to fix dinner, clean the house, and do the kids homework and then get them to bed. There really is no “me” time for these parents. Except when they have a nanny who is living with them, who has fixed dinner for the kids and already helped the kids do their homework and they do the kids laundry. You can imagine what that means for the parents allowing more quality time with their children and more relaxation for themselves.
If you have the extra space in the house, and a need for full time childcare, at least take a look at the possibility of using au pair childcare. Host Families swear by the flexibility, affordability, cultural exchange and flexibility.
